School holidays should be an opportunity for joy, family bonding, and creating lasting memories. However, for separated parents, this period can be fraught with challenges and uncertainty.
Arranging holiday time with children can be an emotional and difficult process for both parents and children. Family lawyers frequently receive urgent calls from parents when contact arrangements fall through or when one parent threatens to ignore an agreement or court order. Unfortunately, these calls often come at the last minute, leaving little time for resolution.
Ben Dale, Solicitor in our Family Law team at Jackson Lees, offers some suggestions to avoid the heartache of missing out on quality time with your children during the school holidays.
Start Early with Holiday Contact Arrangements
Propose reasonable plans to your ex-partner well in advance and try to discuss matters amicably. If you feel unable to do so in person, send a courteous email or ask a third party to assist with the negotiations. If you can't agree and matters cannot be resolved through mediation, ensure there is sufficient time to proceed to court.
What is Mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary and confidential process where an impartial mediator helps separated parents communicate effectively and reach agreements on child contact during school holidays. The mediator guides discussions, encourages cooperation, and aids in resolving conflicts by helping both parties understand each other’s perspectives.
Mediation usually involves several sessions, where both parents meet with the mediator to negotiate arrangements. If direct communication is difficult, separate sessions can be arranged. The mediator helps identify issues, explore options, and reach a resolution that works for everyone.
Benefits of Mediation
Reduced Conflict: Mediation promotes a cooperative approach, reducing hostility and tension between parents.
Cost-Effective: Compared to court proceedings, mediation is generally less expensive and quicker.
Confidentiality: Discussions during mediation are private and cannot be used as evidence in court, encouraging open communication.
Control: Parents maintain control over the decisions regarding their children, as opposed to having a court impose orders.
Focus on Children: Mediation prioritizes the well-being of children, ensuring their needs and interests are central to any agreements.
Keep Conflict Away from the Children
Your children are your priority, and they should be shielded from any animosity or adult issues.
It's vital to remain calm and composed, especially in front of them. Speak positively about the other parent and making negative comments that could influence your child's perception. Create a peaceful environment where your children feel safe and loved by both parents, regardless of any disagreements.
Avoid Pressuring Children About Holiday Plans
Involve older children in discussions in an age-appropriate way, but ensure they never feel pressured. Encourage them to share their feelings and preferences, reassuring them that whatever they say won't impact their relationship with either parent. Make sure they know the final decision will be made by their parents with their best interests at heart.
Consider the Entire Holiday Period
During school holidays, children often have a minimum of nine days out of school. Depending on their age, consider alternating holiday periods every term and sharing the time equally between both parents.
Stick to Agreed Schedules
Build trust with your ex-partner by sticking to agreed-upon schedules. This should hopefully reduce tensions and assist with further discussions relating to future contact. Maintaining open communication and a willingness to compromise can help create a more harmonious co-parenting relationship, ultimately benefiting your children.
Spend Time Together as a Family, If Possible
If spending time together as a family is possible, it can be beneficial for both of you and the children. If this isn't an option, consider arranging phone or video calls during the school holidays. This helps maintain a feeling of connection with both parents, even when they can't be physically present, creating a positive and loving atmosphere for your children whilst they aren't in school.
How can the Jackson Lees Group Help?
At Jackson Lees, we understand the complexities and emotions involved in arranging child contact during school holidays. Our experienced Family Law team can provide compassionate and practical support to help you navigate these challenges.
If you’d like to discuss where you stand and get a little support from one of our specialists in family law, then please give us a call, request a call back at your convenience or make an enquiry.