Sensational show You is out for a second series and it’s proving as spine-tingling as the first one. Hollie Randles, a solicitor in our family law team based at Jackson Lees’ Liverpool office, discusses the series in which abuse is at the core of the story.

In series one we meet Joe, who on the surface seems like a charming romantic to his love interest, Beck. Unfortunately for her, it’s far too late by the time she’s unearthed his disturbing secrets (mild spoilers ahead!).

The first episode begins with an internal monologue of Joe, picking apart Beck’s appearance and making assumptions about her based on them.  Most worryingly, Joe discovers Beck’s address and proceeds to lurk outside of her apartment. This leads to Joe following her to work, university, and meetings with friends to secretly find out intricate details of her life. Throughout the series, Joe judgingly narrates as he observes Beck from afar and constantly scrutinises her life choices. As his obsession with Beck grows, Joe takes his disapproval of her lifestyle to the next level by controlling who and what she is exposed to.

Season two delves into Joe’s childhood, showing his attempts to become a “better version of himself”.  As a result, a lot of viewers felt conflicted in their perception of Joe.  On the face of it, Joe is painted as a protector, not wanting those around him to come to any harm.  The reality of the situation is that Joe manipulates, stalks and even kills those that don’t love him the way that he wants them to.  Despite this, it is clear from social media and trending online articles that some viewers still find themselves attracted to Joe, despite his horrifying and disturbing qualities!

What’s the reality of You?

As shocking as it seems, the controlling and abusive traits of Joe are seen too often in people today. These individuals often do well at concealing their disturbing characteristics to the outside world, perhaps even appearing to be the ideal partner.  However, behind the scenes it is an entirely different story – it could be a vicious and deliberate pattern of behaviour designed to remove their victim’s independence.  It is quite often the case that the victim may not believe that other relationships are any different.

Psychological and emotional abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse and should not be dismissed. Gaslighting is the term coined to describe a pattern of behaviour that over time causes a person to start questioning their perception of reality and, at times, their own sanity. This includes purposefully withholding information and questioning the victim’s memory of events, even where the victim remembers them accurately. This often causes victims to feel as if they cannot trust their own feelings, which gives the perpetrators more power. This often pushes victims into staying in abusive relationships as they become more and more dependent on their abuser. Some victims come to be so isolated that the abuse is normalised, resulting in the victims acting in a way that is desired by their partner.

What can we learn from You?

Stalking is a criminal offence, and involves the victim being subjected to unwanted attention such as Joe’s repeated following of and spying on his love interests. Sadly, many around Joe suffer a rather grim fate which is the reality of many victims of stalking. The Office for National Statistics released figures demonstrating that, in the year ending March 2018, 2124 people aged between 16 and 59 were stalked by a partner. Moreover, the Metropolitan Police Service have found that 40% of victims of domestic homicides had been stalked. It is so worrying that in the modern world, so many people still confuse being frantically obsessed with someone as being a devoted lover.

Although it could be argued that You romanticises stalking and emotional abuse, it is fundamental that such issues are given mainstream attention. You certainly has people talking and I sincerely hope that raising the subject matter will help victims of domestic abuse realise that such behaviour is not normal and should not be tolerated. Society needs to continue to give victims a voice by identifying stalking and gaslighting for what it is – abuse, not chivalry.

It is important for victims to know that there is always a way out.  You can reach out to the National Stalking Helpline by calling 0808 802 0300.  You should also report your concerns to the Police so that they can provide you with protection.  There are crisis loans that can be taken out or refuges that can provide emergency accommodation if needed.  There are also protective Orders that can be obtained to meet your needs and the needs of your children if required. 

How can we help?

At Jackson Lees, we have experienced lawyers who have dealt with many cases of abuse. We acknowledge that it can take a lot to finally seek help and understand the sensitive nature of the situation. Whether you are still in a violent relationship or were previously, we can help you ensure that you and your children are protected moving forward and that financial needs are met following a separation.

If you would like to talk to one of our specialist advisers, please call us free on 0151 625 9364, email family@jacksonlees.co.uk, request a callback at your convenience, or message us your enquiry.