The tragic case of Shana Grice is currently in the media. News reports suggest that the 19-year-old had reported the behaviour of her ex-partner, Michael Lane, to the police on five separate occasions over a six month period. But, instead of taking action, Shana was fined £90 for 'wasting police time' and her abuser later went on to murder her. 

According to reports, Miss Grice's killer began stalking her by fitting a tracker to her car, loitering outside her house at night and stealing a house key so that he access her property whilst she slept. It also emerged that 13 other women had previously reported Michael Lane for his abusive behaviour, yet his actions were allowed to continue. 

There are different types of abuse 

Abuse is not just about physical violence. Controlling and coercive behaviour is unfortunately all too common within relationships today, and can also continue following separation. Abusive individuals often do well at concealing their disturbing characteristics to the outside world, perhaps even appearing to be the ideal partner. However, behind the scenes it is an entirely different story - they could be demonstrating a vicious and deliberate pattern of behaviour within their relationship, designed to remove their victim's independence. It is quite often the case that the victim may not believe that other relationships are any different and so does not know to speak up. Miss Grice's case is a harrowing reminder of how important it is to listen to victims if they are brave enough to talk. 

Psychological and emotional abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse and should not be dismissed.  Such patterns of behaviour can also escalate to physical violence very quickly. Gaslighting is the term coined to describe a pattern of behaviour that over time causes a person to start questioning their perception of reality and, at times, their own sanity. This includes purposefully withholding information and questioning the victim’s memory of events, even where the victim remembers them accurately. This often causes victims to feel as if they cannot trust their own feelings, which gives the perpetrators more power. This can push victims into staying in abusive relationships as they become more and more dependent on their abuser. Some victims come to be so isolated that the abuse is normalised, resulting in the victims acting in a way that is desired by their partner.

There are some perpetrators who instill fear and anxiety in their victims from a distance, through harassing and pestering them or by monitoring their movements and activities. All too often I have clients who believe that their ex-partner is accessing their social media accounts, monitoring their movements or attempting to control them financially by withholding maintenance payments. 

Stalking is a criminal offence and , if not addressed within good time, the outcome could be tragic. The Office for National Statistics released figures demonstrating that, in the year ending March 2018, 2,124 people aged between 16 and 59 were stalked by a partner. Moreover, the Metropolitan Police Service have found that 40% of domestic homicide victims had been stalked. It is so worrying that, in the modern world, so many people still confuse being frantically obsessed with someone as being a devoted lover. 

Stalking is not normal behaviour and it should not be tolerated. Society needs to continue to give victims a voice by calling stalking and gaslighting for what it is - abuse.

Help is available

• It is important for victims to know there is always a way out. You can reach out to the National Stalking Helpline by calling 0808 802 0300. 
• There are crisis loans that can be taken out and refuges that can provide emergency accommodation if needed.
• There are protective orders that can be obtained to meet your needs and the needs of your children, if required.  

Despite the concerns in Miss Grice's case, the police have provided assurance that they are going to prioritise improving their understanding of stalking and responding to reports. Further training has taken place and the police have promised that they will take all reports seriously and are adopting a more robust approach in keeping victims safe.

You should always report your concerns to the police in the first instance.  

Here at Jackson Lees we have experienced Lawyers who have dealt with many cases of abuse.  We acknowledge that it can take a lot to finally seek help and understand the sensitive nature of the situation.  Whether you are still in a violent relationship or were previously, we can help you ensure that you and your children are protected moving forward and that financial needs are met following a separation.

To talk with one of our specialist solicitors please message us your enquiry or request a callback at your convenience today.