I’ve recently read a news article involving a lady who, to the outside world, lives a lifestyle that a lot of us would be rather envious of; designer clothes, children at private schools, large 6-bedroom detached house with landscaped gardens, all mod cons, and an array of domestic help.

However, this lady stated that she would change it all in a heartbeat if it meant she could escape what she viewed to be a financially coercive and controlling marriage.  The wife reports that her husband kept tight control of all the matrimonial finances to the point where he would give her a minimal amount of “pocket money” each day, in return for which he demanded receipts for how that money was spent.  The husband’s behaviour was designed to not only to control her but also to apply a degree of humiliation.

Hannah Bickley, Associate Director & Deputy Head of Family Law, comments: 

Some people may think that this is a small price to pay in return for a life of luxury, however the reality is that marriage should be a partnership of equality and that when such controlling methods are exerted towards one spouse by another, this can constitute domestic abuse.  Over time, a spouse subjected to such behaviour can lose recognition of their self-worth and feel that they are unable to escape the marriage as their spouse will have led them to believe that without their financial security, then they will be destitute.

This isn’t the case.  In relation to the marriage detailed above, the parties have been married for over 40 years, with both husband and wife being in their 60s.  To onlookers, the wife lived a privileged lifestyle in which she had never had to go to work, but they were unaware that the husband had prevented the wife from going to work, which would have provided her with financial independence. The husband had led the wife to believe that if she were to leave him, then she would be forsaking any claim against his pension and would be homeless.

Succinctly, the laws that we have in place would not allow for this to happen.

When considering how finances should be resolved, the first and foremost consideration of the court will be that the needs of both parties (and any relevant children) are met so that both spouses have adequate means to be financially independent of one another and are able to support themselves.  Particularly in relation to “later life” divorces, the courts will always ensure that, wherever available, sufficient provision will be made for income during retirement, such as by way of a Pension Sharing Order, lump sum or in some cases, spousal maintenance.

The message that I am trying to convey is that there is no reason why anybody should feel coerced into remaining in an unhappy marriage simply because they are fearful as to what the future will hold for them financially, particularly when one spouse has convinced them that they will be left financially destitute.

At Jackson Lees, we have family lawyers who have a wealth of experience in assisting clients in divorces at various stages in their lives and with various amounts of matrimonial assets.  We will always endeavour to ensure that you receive a fair and appropriate financial outcome to ensure that you are adequately provided for following the divorce.

If you would like to talk to one of our specialist family law advisers, please call us free on 0800 387 927, request a callback at your convenience or email us your enquiry.